Game Changer

12.50 pm Just waiting awhile before we go and see one of my specialists.  

This is the Iraqi gentleman who first told me I had breast cancer on June 7th. The second time I saw him was last week, when he gave me the results of my histology following my mastectomy the previous week. He was very positive and told me that they had managed to remove the cancer along with my left breast, and that the cancer itself was not aggressive and would respond to both progesterone and oestrogen therapy in the form of Tamoxifen.

But he also needed to find out about chemotherapy. Apparently, when you're "young" like me (I'm 48), they also recommend chemotherapy even when he cancer has been removed. They blast everything at it to try and make sure that no stray cancer cells migrated in the bloodstream to other organs. I know there are different types of chemo, but it still scares me. He'd mentioned on the visit where he'd told me I had cancer that chemotherapy would probably be required, and it would be the type that makes you lose your hair. K has seen someone go through it and it was so bad that the patient preferred to opt for an earlier death rather than face more chemo. So he feels that I should reject it. But we shall see what is said. Right now I don't want to rule anything out.

Today my scar is not as painful, thank God, but there is a worrying collection of liquid under the implant, which gives an odd sensation if I bend down; a feeling that my clothes are brushing over two nipples. This I think will have to be drained! - which again is not a thought to relish. In the meantime, the most unpleasant sensation is near the drain site and round the back and armpit, rather than in the breast itself, which feels a mix of numbness on the surface, and discomfort inside.

Update:

It was a very strange appointment with the Specialist, who basically just reiterated what he told us last week. This time however he mentioned that I won't see the Oncologist until September, because that's the earliest we can see anyone....but he felt that they may not give me chemotherapy because my cancer is small to medium and slow growing. He did warn me that I will start menopause when I start the tamoxifen, which is hardly to be relished, but still: better than cancer.

Then I asked them to look at the fluid underneath the implant which is swishing around and he agreed that it was indeed a seroma (I have had the music to 'My Sharona' echoing around my head, replacing the word 'Sharona' with 'seroma').  I was despatched to the Breast Clinic to have the liquid drawn off with a needle - it turned out to be 38ml of pinkish/straw-coloured liquid, which I was assured wasn't very much compared to what is drawn from many ladies after breast implant surgery.  It didn't hurt, but now, some hours later, the whole surgery site is feeling sore......