Rollercoaster

The thing is, I am now in a state of constant flux.

On Friday evening, I left Pearl, Carole, Mary and Samina with a little angel each and went on my way. I felt fine, although on getting home the breast started flowing with fluid from underneath. Every time I moved it poured out and I had no choice but to lie on a towel to sleep. And in the morning (Saturday) we simply relaxed all day and did nothing and the leaking stopped. Perhaps, we thought, the leaking is naturally coming to an end. They'd told us that it would.

But on Sunday morning I awoke feeling terrible. Not sleepy, but terribly tired. And nauseous, although not quite the same nausea as when I knew I had cellulitis. The breast was also painful. I realised that I hadn't taken my antibiotics for some ten hours and sure enough when I took them the sickness seemed to recede. But the fatigue stayed in place, although I was cheered by a trip to see the children. Kept taking my temperature but it peaked at 36.8 ....98 degrees.

They have told me that it will take a couple of days for the infection to resume when my antibiotics finish tonight, but this indicates that it will start a lot quicker!  All I can do is keep hydrated and wait.

Today I awoke feeling so much better, and it was brilliant to just feel "normal". A fair amount of breast leaking I notice, and also the breast is starting to feel quite hard on the underneath. The skin is soft all over and not painful and there is no redness. The scar area looks like a dusky, healthy lilac colour. The nipple has somewhat collapsed in on itself, but I'm not bothered really. I like this breast but I've come to accept the inevitable ...something isn't right and I can't imagine that it will ever be.  People tell me not to be negative, but I'm just being realistic! The breast fills up with serum, and then it releases it through the scar tissue and I feel better, until it builds up again.

So I'm just enjoying the last few hours of being at home and feeling fairly normal before the inevitable trip back to hospital. I see the surgeon anyway on Thursday - the question is, what will happen before Thursday?